No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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