If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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