So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
how does that bad decision feel?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
