I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
where are my eyebrows?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
