I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the day after is always just damage control
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
