We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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