Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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