Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
