i just identified you from a description of your pipe
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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