Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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