I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
