capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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