The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
