Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
