This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
