I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
