He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
