Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
