Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
