well I can't set my house on fire every night
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
