I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im holly from the hills drunk
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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