Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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