theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We need to rekindle our bromance
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
