He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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