its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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