By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize