he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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