On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
