Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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