Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
