Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
