I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
