You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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