Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
