I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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