when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
