it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
