it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize