Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize