another moral hangover. fuck.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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