your parents love me but you hate me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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