Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
They have beer where we have blood.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize