i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He felt like a one man threesome
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
