okay pat passed out under dana's car
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
