??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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