bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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