Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize