I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
