Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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