so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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