I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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