did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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