Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
