I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
