I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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