bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
