Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
