his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize