so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
