The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
