i'm signing you up for texting rehab
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
