he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
