hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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