Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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