I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
