Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
im on a boat
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